Sunday, August 28, 2016

The Last Word on Weed

Thank God for Charles Barkeley.

A few games before his first NFL pre-season game, Dallas Cowboys running back-- first round draft choice and future Emmitt Smith-- Ezekiel Elliot was caught visiting a marijuana dispensary in Seattle.

Need we say that Jerry Jones, owner of the team, was incensed. But, Charles Barkeley said it all in an interview on a Philadelphia radio station. When asked to comment on the Elliot situation, Barkeley said:

"That's just stupid, man. He's [Ezekiel Elliot] got to be smarter than that. I mean, that's just stupid. It's like Ryan Lochte, that's just stupid. Just tell the truth and apologize ?

"I'm like, c'mon man, you gotta be smarter than that. I'm not a marijuana guy, I think I've told you, I smoked pot like five times in my life. All it did was [make] me want to eat potato chips. It was a waste of my time. I didn't feel no euphoria, it didn't take me to no special place, I just said, 'Do we have any more potato chips in the state of Alabama or Pennsylvania?'

"This guy thinks he can just walk into a marijuana store, legal or not, it's just a bad look. Sometimes I watch sports today, I'm like, you've got to have some common sense."

There you have it, the ultimate purpose of marijuana: it makes you want to eat more potato chips. And while you're at it, Zeke, grow a brain. 

2 comments:

Sam L. said...

Ig, are you channeling your inner Ares, though in a highly edited mode?

Ares Olympus said...

Stuart: There you have it, the ultimate purpose of marijuana: it makes you want to eat more potato chips.

Humans do nearly unlimited stupid things that are a waste lots of time (and money). And perhaps spending $40k/year locking people up for victimless crimes stands near the very top?